Mother's day 2012
Nursing Ana is still so sweet, even with all the wiggles
Not wiggly after shower tonight
we sat in the hall on the floor, ana in my lap, nursing away
her head heavy on my left arm, her booty on my right leg
sucking softly. rhythmically, her eyes focussed intently on my wet hair her left hand pulls several strands, tug tug, twist, twist
a game
then her eyes get heavy and close
now that left hand tries to find my other breast and rests on my chest, then pulling my night shirt
a deep breath and ana is almost asleep
Monday, March 11, 2013
July 31, 2012d
Gymnaskicks
Synagod
Some of my tribe's cute phrases
I wanna change. I got BIG poopoo. Anya just turned 2. Her sentences are usually short, but she has many words and a very expressive face. She recently started asking Why for everything. You have to wait until you're 3 to go to camp. "Why?, Mama?" She knows a lot. With hand signals, words, and pulls she can tell me she wants me to put my swim suit on so we can go to the pool. Another of her big questions is - Where-- as in Where papa go? Where Tala go?
Natalya still uses object pronouns for subject pronouns. "Them are still in Boston," for example, referring to her friend "Raine" and her family. She and Ana are really cute together. Ana is often her 'baby.' Sometimes they are both moms pushing baby in stroller. It reminds me of myself growing up. Very odd. Right now it's after 10 PM. For some reason Natalya did not fall asleep an hour ago when I put her to bed. She is now contentedly playing daycare with her babies in the yellow room with the light on. Happily entertaining herself. Hate to interrupt, but I really don't want her to be in an awful funk again tomorrow due to lack of sleep again. She has taken a liking to phones too. She pretends to converse with friends and relatives, walks around the house in circles, like I do I guess. She wants a cell phone; maybe to talk to her "cousin." She has a cousin for everything-- kind of her imaginary friends, I guess.
They both still love mama milk. Ana likes to say I want Mok. Natalya had a chance to quit when I was away from her for 3 days in Massachusetts. She managed and has mostly stopped night nursing, but she still has a voracious appetite for milk.
Milena is getting big-- dramatic as ever. Can't stand when she get angry. Her fits drive me mad. Crying, yelling. Makes me wish I never had kids--- but other times she's sweet. Trying to figure out who she is, her talents, her strengths, her weaknesses. She loves the Shake it Up show on Disney. Reading is a love of hers, though she's been kind of busy to really just sit and read this summer. She doesn't love math. Guess we have to keep working there. The Spanish she knows isn't bad. Gotta keep reinforcing that one.
Milena, Alexander, and Natalya have had a big summer. Tackled the 2 slides and the diving board at the Elks Swim Club. Milena is still nervous about the purple slide. Little Natalya actually beat them all to it.
They all hosted Madeleine and Caitlin for their first sleep over and then a couple week later spent the night at the Harris's. I was kind of worried. What if someone over there smokes and the one night my kids stay over there is a house fire? Mom's worries. Typical or just me?
Alexander's all about bugs and other creatures. Milena wants a dog; he would take anything. It's kind of sad and kind of funny when he plays with and loves his geikos so much that he kills them. He really cried the first time it happened.
Synagod
Some of my tribe's cute phrases
I wanna change. I got BIG poopoo. Anya just turned 2. Her sentences are usually short, but she has many words and a very expressive face. She recently started asking Why for everything. You have to wait until you're 3 to go to camp. "Why?, Mama?" She knows a lot. With hand signals, words, and pulls she can tell me she wants me to put my swim suit on so we can go to the pool. Another of her big questions is - Where-- as in Where papa go? Where Tala go?
Natalya still uses object pronouns for subject pronouns. "Them are still in Boston," for example, referring to her friend "Raine" and her family. She and Ana are really cute together. Ana is often her 'baby.' Sometimes they are both moms pushing baby in stroller. It reminds me of myself growing up. Very odd. Right now it's after 10 PM. For some reason Natalya did not fall asleep an hour ago when I put her to bed. She is now contentedly playing daycare with her babies in the yellow room with the light on. Happily entertaining herself. Hate to interrupt, but I really don't want her to be in an awful funk again tomorrow due to lack of sleep again. She has taken a liking to phones too. She pretends to converse with friends and relatives, walks around the house in circles, like I do I guess. She wants a cell phone; maybe to talk to her "cousin." She has a cousin for everything-- kind of her imaginary friends, I guess.
They both still love mama milk. Ana likes to say I want Mok. Natalya had a chance to quit when I was away from her for 3 days in Massachusetts. She managed and has mostly stopped night nursing, but she still has a voracious appetite for milk.
Milena is getting big-- dramatic as ever. Can't stand when she get angry. Her fits drive me mad. Crying, yelling. Makes me wish I never had kids--- but other times she's sweet. Trying to figure out who she is, her talents, her strengths, her weaknesses. She loves the Shake it Up show on Disney. Reading is a love of hers, though she's been kind of busy to really just sit and read this summer. She doesn't love math. Guess we have to keep working there. The Spanish she knows isn't bad. Gotta keep reinforcing that one.
Milena, Alexander, and Natalya have had a big summer. Tackled the 2 slides and the diving board at the Elks Swim Club. Milena is still nervous about the purple slide. Little Natalya actually beat them all to it.
They all hosted Madeleine and Caitlin for their first sleep over and then a couple week later spent the night at the Harris's. I was kind of worried. What if someone over there smokes and the one night my kids stay over there is a house fire? Mom's worries. Typical or just me?
Alexander's all about bugs and other creatures. Milena wants a dog; he would take anything. It's kind of sad and kind of funny when he plays with and loves his geikos so much that he kills them. He really cried the first time it happened.
What a day, what a week. I am really happy to have just learned that my HPT was positive. Now, I do not know how long this pregnancy will last or if there is even the makings of a baby in the sac. Is there even a sac at this point (2 weeks past O)? I am just excited to know that the egg and sperm met and did something. I convinced my husband to try for one last baby a few months ago, and twice AF came, so I was beginning to think we were just too old. We actually are too old, but apparently even old people can conceive without a RE. So Feb 13-14 was the day things finally worked --- unless they worked in late December too. My Jan cycle started a couple days later than I would've expected, so that may have been a chemical. That is why I decided to test today rather than wait until Monday or Tuesday when I would be sure I was + and just wanted to take the test for the heck of it. I want to know if I have a chemical or not, not just suspect.
Today, I had my suspicions, but I really didn't know. My PMS symptoms are close to my HPT symptoms, you know. My face is rather clear, but I did get one pimple a couple days ago. I tried testing with OPKs and got what looked like a positive yesterday and the day before, but they were those 90% positives-- very dark, but were they really darker than the control? The test took no time to read positive, so I know the hormone is there, but now we'll just have to see if little bean has the goods to really implant. I hope honestly that it only takes if it has the potential to be normal and healthy, but we'll see what God has in store for us this time. At least we conceived under a good sign-- Ricky's grandmother's yart zeit. Ana was conceived on Ricky's dad's yartzeit.
More later!
At least now I don't have to keep running to the restroom to see if AF is here. I've had cramps for 3 days and gas cramps for 6 or so-- a little odd, but could have been PMS. Also, cramps starting at 12 dpo are not as convincing as those starting at 10 dpo (Milena, Natalya), but we'll see what happens.
Today, I had my suspicions, but I really didn't know. My PMS symptoms are close to my HPT symptoms, you know. My face is rather clear, but I did get one pimple a couple days ago. I tried testing with OPKs and got what looked like a positive yesterday and the day before, but they were those 90% positives-- very dark, but were they really darker than the control? The test took no time to read positive, so I know the hormone is there, but now we'll just have to see if little bean has the goods to really implant. I hope honestly that it only takes if it has the potential to be normal and healthy, but we'll see what God has in store for us this time. At least we conceived under a good sign-- Ricky's grandmother's yart zeit. Ana was conceived on Ricky's dad's yartzeit.
More later!
At least now I don't have to keep running to the restroom to see if AF is here. I've had cramps for 3 days and gas cramps for 6 or so-- a little odd, but could have been PMS. Also, cramps starting at 12 dpo are not as convincing as those starting at 10 dpo (Milena, Natalya), but we'll see what happens.
Today I am 5 weeks and few days along. I could have a baby with a beating heart by now-- if it's not an empty sac. Exciting! I actually keep looking up miscarriage info. It's my latest hobby-- I figure that at 42 it's a likely possibility for me. However, much of the time I feel very positive. I think I'm just bloated, but I feel like someone has taken root. Time will tell. It's a scary time but nice too. No morning sickness or anything yet. No real signs that progesterone or hcg is rising-- except my skin is very glowy.
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