Mother's day 2012
Nursing Ana is still so sweet, even with all the wiggles
Not wiggly after shower tonight
we sat in the hall on the floor, ana in my lap, nursing away
her head heavy on my left arm, her booty on my right leg
sucking softly. rhythmically, her eyes focussed intently on my wet hair her left hand pulls several strands, tug tug, twist, twist
a game
then her eyes get heavy and close
now that left hand tries to find my other breast and rests on my chest, then pulling my night shirt
a deep breath and ana is almost asleep
Monday, March 11, 2013
July 31, 2012d
Gymnaskicks
Synagod
Some of my tribe's cute phrases
I wanna change. I got BIG poopoo. Anya just turned 2. Her sentences are usually short, but she has many words and a very expressive face. She recently started asking Why for everything. You have to wait until you're 3 to go to camp. "Why?, Mama?" She knows a lot. With hand signals, words, and pulls she can tell me she wants me to put my swim suit on so we can go to the pool. Another of her big questions is - Where-- as in Where papa go? Where Tala go?
Natalya still uses object pronouns for subject pronouns. "Them are still in Boston," for example, referring to her friend "Raine" and her family. She and Ana are really cute together. Ana is often her 'baby.' Sometimes they are both moms pushing baby in stroller. It reminds me of myself growing up. Very odd. Right now it's after 10 PM. For some reason Natalya did not fall asleep an hour ago when I put her to bed. She is now contentedly playing daycare with her babies in the yellow room with the light on. Happily entertaining herself. Hate to interrupt, but I really don't want her to be in an awful funk again tomorrow due to lack of sleep again. She has taken a liking to phones too. She pretends to converse with friends and relatives, walks around the house in circles, like I do I guess. She wants a cell phone; maybe to talk to her "cousin." She has a cousin for everything-- kind of her imaginary friends, I guess.
They both still love mama milk. Ana likes to say I want Mok. Natalya had a chance to quit when I was away from her for 3 days in Massachusetts. She managed and has mostly stopped night nursing, but she still has a voracious appetite for milk.
Milena is getting big-- dramatic as ever. Can't stand when she get angry. Her fits drive me mad. Crying, yelling. Makes me wish I never had kids--- but other times she's sweet. Trying to figure out who she is, her talents, her strengths, her weaknesses. She loves the Shake it Up show on Disney. Reading is a love of hers, though she's been kind of busy to really just sit and read this summer. She doesn't love math. Guess we have to keep working there. The Spanish she knows isn't bad. Gotta keep reinforcing that one.
Milena, Alexander, and Natalya have had a big summer. Tackled the 2 slides and the diving board at the Elks Swim Club. Milena is still nervous about the purple slide. Little Natalya actually beat them all to it.
They all hosted Madeleine and Caitlin for their first sleep over and then a couple week later spent the night at the Harris's. I was kind of worried. What if someone over there smokes and the one night my kids stay over there is a house fire? Mom's worries. Typical or just me?
Alexander's all about bugs and other creatures. Milena wants a dog; he would take anything. It's kind of sad and kind of funny when he plays with and loves his geikos so much that he kills them. He really cried the first time it happened.
Synagod
Some of my tribe's cute phrases
I wanna change. I got BIG poopoo. Anya just turned 2. Her sentences are usually short, but she has many words and a very expressive face. She recently started asking Why for everything. You have to wait until you're 3 to go to camp. "Why?, Mama?" She knows a lot. With hand signals, words, and pulls she can tell me she wants me to put my swim suit on so we can go to the pool. Another of her big questions is - Where-- as in Where papa go? Where Tala go?
Natalya still uses object pronouns for subject pronouns. "Them are still in Boston," for example, referring to her friend "Raine" and her family. She and Ana are really cute together. Ana is often her 'baby.' Sometimes they are both moms pushing baby in stroller. It reminds me of myself growing up. Very odd. Right now it's after 10 PM. For some reason Natalya did not fall asleep an hour ago when I put her to bed. She is now contentedly playing daycare with her babies in the yellow room with the light on. Happily entertaining herself. Hate to interrupt, but I really don't want her to be in an awful funk again tomorrow due to lack of sleep again. She has taken a liking to phones too. She pretends to converse with friends and relatives, walks around the house in circles, like I do I guess. She wants a cell phone; maybe to talk to her "cousin." She has a cousin for everything-- kind of her imaginary friends, I guess.
They both still love mama milk. Ana likes to say I want Mok. Natalya had a chance to quit when I was away from her for 3 days in Massachusetts. She managed and has mostly stopped night nursing, but she still has a voracious appetite for milk.
Milena is getting big-- dramatic as ever. Can't stand when she get angry. Her fits drive me mad. Crying, yelling. Makes me wish I never had kids--- but other times she's sweet. Trying to figure out who she is, her talents, her strengths, her weaknesses. She loves the Shake it Up show on Disney. Reading is a love of hers, though she's been kind of busy to really just sit and read this summer. She doesn't love math. Guess we have to keep working there. The Spanish she knows isn't bad. Gotta keep reinforcing that one.
Milena, Alexander, and Natalya have had a big summer. Tackled the 2 slides and the diving board at the Elks Swim Club. Milena is still nervous about the purple slide. Little Natalya actually beat them all to it.
They all hosted Madeleine and Caitlin for their first sleep over and then a couple week later spent the night at the Harris's. I was kind of worried. What if someone over there smokes and the one night my kids stay over there is a house fire? Mom's worries. Typical or just me?
Alexander's all about bugs and other creatures. Milena wants a dog; he would take anything. It's kind of sad and kind of funny when he plays with and loves his geikos so much that he kills them. He really cried the first time it happened.
What a day, what a week. I am really happy to have just learned that my HPT was positive. Now, I do not know how long this pregnancy will last or if there is even the makings of a baby in the sac. Is there even a sac at this point (2 weeks past O)? I am just excited to know that the egg and sperm met and did something. I convinced my husband to try for one last baby a few months ago, and twice AF came, so I was beginning to think we were just too old. We actually are too old, but apparently even old people can conceive without a RE. So Feb 13-14 was the day things finally worked --- unless they worked in late December too. My Jan cycle started a couple days later than I would've expected, so that may have been a chemical. That is why I decided to test today rather than wait until Monday or Tuesday when I would be sure I was + and just wanted to take the test for the heck of it. I want to know if I have a chemical or not, not just suspect.
Today, I had my suspicions, but I really didn't know. My PMS symptoms are close to my HPT symptoms, you know. My face is rather clear, but I did get one pimple a couple days ago. I tried testing with OPKs and got what looked like a positive yesterday and the day before, but they were those 90% positives-- very dark, but were they really darker than the control? The test took no time to read positive, so I know the hormone is there, but now we'll just have to see if little bean has the goods to really implant. I hope honestly that it only takes if it has the potential to be normal and healthy, but we'll see what God has in store for us this time. At least we conceived under a good sign-- Ricky's grandmother's yart zeit. Ana was conceived on Ricky's dad's yartzeit.
More later!
At least now I don't have to keep running to the restroom to see if AF is here. I've had cramps for 3 days and gas cramps for 6 or so-- a little odd, but could have been PMS. Also, cramps starting at 12 dpo are not as convincing as those starting at 10 dpo (Milena, Natalya), but we'll see what happens.
Today, I had my suspicions, but I really didn't know. My PMS symptoms are close to my HPT symptoms, you know. My face is rather clear, but I did get one pimple a couple days ago. I tried testing with OPKs and got what looked like a positive yesterday and the day before, but they were those 90% positives-- very dark, but were they really darker than the control? The test took no time to read positive, so I know the hormone is there, but now we'll just have to see if little bean has the goods to really implant. I hope honestly that it only takes if it has the potential to be normal and healthy, but we'll see what God has in store for us this time. At least we conceived under a good sign-- Ricky's grandmother's yart zeit. Ana was conceived on Ricky's dad's yartzeit.
More later!
At least now I don't have to keep running to the restroom to see if AF is here. I've had cramps for 3 days and gas cramps for 6 or so-- a little odd, but could have been PMS. Also, cramps starting at 12 dpo are not as convincing as those starting at 10 dpo (Milena, Natalya), but we'll see what happens.
Today I am 5 weeks and few days along. I could have a baby with a beating heart by now-- if it's not an empty sac. Exciting! I actually keep looking up miscarriage info. It's my latest hobby-- I figure that at 42 it's a likely possibility for me. However, much of the time I feel very positive. I think I'm just bloated, but I feel like someone has taken root. Time will tell. It's a scary time but nice too. No morning sickness or anything yet. No real signs that progesterone or hcg is rising-- except my skin is very glowy.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
January 28, 2012
New Year!!
Ana is now 18 months. She is an official toddler now-- having pronounced the word mine while pointing to herself. She entertains us all with the words she is trying to say. Doesn't have too many that I notice, but I think she will get there. Her most frequent phrase is "Iwanmama," but she has said papa, cat, two, three, and a few other words here and there. I caught her scolding the cat recently, pointing her index finger and repeating no, no, no. She is so funny. She will raise her hand whenever the question is posed whoever ...., raise their hand. Who likes cake? She does (hand goes up). Who likes yellow? She does. Who eats boogers? Yes, she does! Her older siblings love that they can get her to stick out her tongue umpteen times. We can also say show us your belly button, and she'll lift her shirt every time and show us, so proud of herself. This can go on for at least 5-10 times, maybe more. It's fun seeing her sitting at our kitchen counter next to all her siblings. She's just one of the bunch now. Natalya-- Ana-- Milena-- Alexander! Today she sat with everyone at Dominic's birthday at Jill's Gym. Ate and drake right along side all the big kids. Loved it. Left with green icing all over her chin.
Alexander is 5 1/2. Loves to socialize. Socializes at school too much, so we have to really monitor that his kindergarten work his getting done. No Wild Kratts when it doesn't happen. He is very capable though. His best bud right now is Dominic. They have similar interests. Yesterday I took Alexander shopping for the birthday present. He spent so much time looking for the perfect gift. He didn't want anything "lame." Finally, he chose this Ninja figurine that came with some kind of flying contraption with "bat" wings. Before we left the store he convinced me that he should get one too, then they could play together with their ninjas on a play date. He lucked out!! I'm a pushover.
Natalya just turned 4. She likes wearing a #4 dress one of her classmate's mothers made for her. Still wears what she likes 3 or more days in a row. Her best bud is Raine.
Milena is enjoying her school. She still knows everything around here. We had a little social crisis a few weeks ago when one of her classmates invited 3 other girls, but not Milena, to a an afterschool outing to a movie to celebrate her 8th birthday. It was OK that Milena didn't get to go, but the fact that they left from school in a group and the fact that there are only 5 girls in her age group and 4 went made the "exclusion" particularly obvious and painful. Hopefully, we'll learn something positive from this experience. Sometimes, though, people just hurt one another. What can you do? As someone who often feels invisible in social settings, I really felt for her though.
Ana is now 18 months. She is an official toddler now-- having pronounced the word mine while pointing to herself. She entertains us all with the words she is trying to say. Doesn't have too many that I notice, but I think she will get there. Her most frequent phrase is "Iwanmama," but she has said papa, cat, two, three, and a few other words here and there. I caught her scolding the cat recently, pointing her index finger and repeating no, no, no. She is so funny. She will raise her hand whenever the question is posed whoever ...., raise their hand. Who likes cake? She does (hand goes up). Who likes yellow? She does. Who eats boogers? Yes, she does! Her older siblings love that they can get her to stick out her tongue umpteen times. We can also say show us your belly button, and she'll lift her shirt every time and show us, so proud of herself. This can go on for at least 5-10 times, maybe more. It's fun seeing her sitting at our kitchen counter next to all her siblings. She's just one of the bunch now. Natalya-- Ana-- Milena-- Alexander! Today she sat with everyone at Dominic's birthday at Jill's Gym. Ate and drake right along side all the big kids. Loved it. Left with green icing all over her chin.
Alexander is 5 1/2. Loves to socialize. Socializes at school too much, so we have to really monitor that his kindergarten work his getting done. No Wild Kratts when it doesn't happen. He is very capable though. His best bud right now is Dominic. They have similar interests. Yesterday I took Alexander shopping for the birthday present. He spent so much time looking for the perfect gift. He didn't want anything "lame." Finally, he chose this Ninja figurine that came with some kind of flying contraption with "bat" wings. Before we left the store he convinced me that he should get one too, then they could play together with their ninjas on a play date. He lucked out!! I'm a pushover.
Natalya just turned 4. She likes wearing a #4 dress one of her classmate's mothers made for her. Still wears what she likes 3 or more days in a row. Her best bud is Raine.
Milena is enjoying her school. She still knows everything around here. We had a little social crisis a few weeks ago when one of her classmates invited 3 other girls, but not Milena, to a an afterschool outing to a movie to celebrate her 8th birthday. It was OK that Milena didn't get to go, but the fact that they left from school in a group and the fact that there are only 5 girls in her age group and 4 went made the "exclusion" particularly obvious and painful. Hopefully, we'll learn something positive from this experience. Sometimes, though, people just hurt one another. What can you do? As someone who often feels invisible in social settings, I really felt for her though.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
October 3, 2011
Anya keeps growing up-- still not talking but lots of vocalization as we approach 15 months. She adjusted well to day care with Miss Etta. Two more bottom teeth started appearing early in September, about the 3rd. She is a very smart baby. Last night she kept seeking and finding her baby book. She wanted me to look at it with her-- only that one.
Natalya is "sweet" at school. At home she can be a challenge-- hates reprimands, will scold and hit you back, call you poo poo head and stupid! Yet, she can be mischievious and get into trouble. She has made friends in C-1. Mentions Raine a lot, even had her first play date. Loves her new teacher. Is perfectly happy in her new classroom. Loves cooking/ helping in the kitchen and practicing gymnastics at Jill's. She's better this month, but still she gets very attached to one outfit, underwear and all, and insists on wearing it for days. She wants to nurse a lot and whines when she can't. Won't take no for an answer--- easily anyway. I'm conflicted.
Natalya is "sweet" at school. At home she can be a challenge-- hates reprimands, will scold and hit you back, call you poo poo head and stupid! Yet, she can be mischievious and get into trouble. She has made friends in C-1. Mentions Raine a lot, even had her first play date. Loves her new teacher. Is perfectly happy in her new classroom. Loves cooking/ helping in the kitchen and practicing gymnastics at Jill's. She's better this month, but still she gets very attached to one outfit, underwear and all, and insists on wearing it for days. She wants to nurse a lot and whines when she can't. Won't take no for an answer--- easily anyway. I'm conflicted.
November 24, 2011 Thanksgiving
Lots to be thankful for. As a mother, I am, of course most thankful for 4 healthy, growing children and their loving, supportive "papa". Life is more hectic, loud and sometimes stressful with them but never dull or lonely.
Anya is now 16 months. Not talking like crazy yet, but she is making progress and seems to understand quite a bit. Ask her to go throw something in the trash can, and she'll walk right over and do it. No hesitation. She says dog, cat, hi, and mama and papa, of course. I think she asks "what's that?" but it's not 100% clear. Loves books and buttons. Already knows how to navigate a Smartphone screen. I love the image I got in my head of her last weekend, though she wouldn't let me "snap" the shot. She's got a full head of blonde curls these days. She was wearing her birthday girl T and pink knit pants with a ruffle on the bootie. Over her pants she wore a frilly pink polka dot skirt covered with a layer of tulle. Very feminine, very sweet, very much like her big sis Natalya, who's all about twirly, tulle covered skirts lately. She is so funny -- will often wear an outfit she likes for several days in a row.
Natalya is almost 4. She knows her birthday is January 5th, and she is ready. She's moved onto C-1/ Ms. Sandy's class and loves it. She has several friends in class, Raine, Jessie, Caya, and Lilyanne. She's big on writing numbers and letters. Talks a mile a minute, and is "boisterous" once she's comfortable and gives up her reserved nature. She sings (I'm a little acorn brown), is an adorable pilgrim, and loves minastics (yeah, cartwheels). Still sleeps with mom and dad and loves mama milk. She's getting big for this, but I know it will pass all too soon, and I'll miss it, so I don't wean her. I know it will come one day.
Alexander loves drawing and singing. His best friend these days in Dominic. They play Wild Kratts. He's making progress with reading and sailing through kindergarten. His temper can be explosive, and I don't like how he uses the word stupid, especially with me and his sisters, but he also tells me he loves me and can be most affectionate. I think he knows right and wrong.
Milena is working on Jingle Bells on the piano. She wrote about herself at school. Said she was 4 feet tall, played piano, and had a "mixed up" family. She's friendly with everyone at school. Her teachers like her. Lately the friend she mentions most is Shepherd Harvill. I enjoyed my date to A Little Princess with her and Nati last weekend. They were so attentive!
Anya is now 16 months. Not talking like crazy yet, but she is making progress and seems to understand quite a bit. Ask her to go throw something in the trash can, and she'll walk right over and do it. No hesitation. She says dog, cat, hi, and mama and papa, of course. I think she asks "what's that?" but it's not 100% clear. Loves books and buttons. Already knows how to navigate a Smartphone screen. I love the image I got in my head of her last weekend, though she wouldn't let me "snap" the shot. She's got a full head of blonde curls these days. She was wearing her birthday girl T and pink knit pants with a ruffle on the bootie. Over her pants she wore a frilly pink polka dot skirt covered with a layer of tulle. Very feminine, very sweet, very much like her big sis Natalya, who's all about twirly, tulle covered skirts lately. She is so funny -- will often wear an outfit she likes for several days in a row.
Natalya is almost 4. She knows her birthday is January 5th, and she is ready. She's moved onto C-1/ Ms. Sandy's class and loves it. She has several friends in class, Raine, Jessie, Caya, and Lilyanne. She's big on writing numbers and letters. Talks a mile a minute, and is "boisterous" once she's comfortable and gives up her reserved nature. She sings (I'm a little acorn brown), is an adorable pilgrim, and loves minastics (yeah, cartwheels). Still sleeps with mom and dad and loves mama milk. She's getting big for this, but I know it will pass all too soon, and I'll miss it, so I don't wean her. I know it will come one day.
Alexander loves drawing and singing. His best friend these days in Dominic. They play Wild Kratts. He's making progress with reading and sailing through kindergarten. His temper can be explosive, and I don't like how he uses the word stupid, especially with me and his sisters, but he also tells me he loves me and can be most affectionate. I think he knows right and wrong.
Milena is working on Jingle Bells on the piano. She wrote about herself at school. Said she was 4 feet tall, played piano, and had a "mixed up" family. She's friendly with everyone at school. Her teachers like her. Lately the friend she mentions most is Shepherd Harvill. I enjoyed my date to A Little Princess with her and Nati last weekend. They were so attentive!
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